Quit the Excuses: How to Make Therapy Work for You
Whether you have been injured in a car accident, are working through a custody matter, or have just filed for divorce, you need to make sure that you are taking care of yourself physically and mentally. Without a clear and healthy mind, you may not be able to handle the stress of your unique situation to the best of your ability. You are your strongest ally and you deserve to be the best version of yourself so that you can advocate and navigate these tough times. Healing is essential to starting a new chapter in your life. If you’ve been struggling in any way, don’t be ashamed or hesitant to reach out for the help you need. Put yourself first and STOP making excuses.
Here is a list of common excuses paired with helpful tips to reframe your mind as you get started on a path to mental wellness:
“Therapy is for people with serious issues… I’m not that bad.”
Therapy is a useful tool for anyone and everyone. Don’t compare yourself. You have every right to acknowledge that what you have been through or what you are going through is painful and you deserve to be supported in that. Therapy is a resource and a tool that can be used to better your life, don’t label yourself. Whether your goal is to be a more caring friend, a more focused employee, or a more present parent, no one is “gatekeeping” mental healthcare. There isn’t a prerequisite for prioritizing your mental health. Therapy is for everyone.
“I can get through this on my own.”
You probably can! I’ve heard the phrase “God gives his toughest battles to his strongest soldiers” a million times and there is an incredible power in believing in yourself. I said it before and I’ll say it again, therapy is a tool. You could build a house with just your bare hands, couldn't you? Wouldn’t it be a lot easier and more productive if you used tools and had another person to help you out? Free yourself from the stigma that can be associated with seeking help. Starting therapy isn’t a sign of weakness. It is a sign that you’re prioritizing yourself and taking ownership of your life. I would argue that it takes even more strength to reach out for help when you need it than to sit there and say “I got this.”
“I don’t have time to go to therapy.”
We make time for the things we want to make time for. Say it with me: We make time for the things we want to make time for. How many hours did you spend last week watching Succession or some Bravo reality show? Most therapy sessions are approximately one hour. You can certainly carve out one single hour a week, every two weeks, or every month based on your current needs. Additionally, there are more online therapy options available now than ever before. You can book a session during your lunch break, during your child’s naptime, after work from your car, or even on the weekend. Make a commitment to yourself to prioritize your mental health!
“Talk therapy doesn’t work for me.” or “Psychiatrists just want to put you on meds.”
During your therapy journey, it will benefit you to stay open to different approaches and specialties. There are many different providers with a variety of educational backgrounds and licenses. Psychologists, Social Workers, Psychiatrists, Counselors, and even Religious leaders are considered “mental healthcare providers”. These are just a few examples. The most important this is finding what works for you and makes you feel safe.
“This is too much. I’m not ready.”
Ready for a big glass of honesty? You might not ever “be ready”. It’s a matter of taking things into your own hands and deciding that your mental well-being is a priority. We make time for the things we want to make time for. Your mental health is a priority and you deserve to be the best version of yourself. If therapy is overwhelming, start by requesting a messaging session. This is an option for most online providers. If you haven’t chosen a provider yet, simply start by journaling. Watch a youtube video on the issues you are experiencing. Check in with a close friend or relative that is working through their own journey and ask how they felt prior to starting. This is a marathon, not a sprint and there is a wide variety of things that you can do to ease into it.
“I can’t afford therapy.”
Another round of honesty coming right up! YES, YOU CAN. Moreover, it’s an investment in YOURSELF. Start by contacting your insurance by calling the number on the back of the card or via your online portal to see if there are affordable providers that are in your network. If you do not have health insurance, you can try online providers such as TalkSpace or BetterHelp which provide cheaper hourly rates. Another option is group therapy. Your employer might offer mental health resources. Often times you can find local support groups through religious organizations or community networks that offer discussion-based therapy.
“I tried therapy already, but I didn’t like my therapist.”
Finding a good therapist is a lot like finding a good partner and at first, it might even feel like dating. Don’t settle for the first one you “go out” with if it’s not a match. It’s important to find a provider whose treatment approach works for you. It might be important to you to find someone who shares a similar background or is the same race and gender as you. You and your therapist are a team and it should feel that way! Don’t lose hope just because you haven’t found the right provider yet.
Here is a short list of helpful questions to ask when speaking with providers for the first time:
How long have you been practicing?
Do you have a particular approach, expertise, or training?
What experience do you have treating people with my condition?
In your practice, do you have someone who prescribes medicine?
What is your perspective on prescribed medication for treating mental health conditions?
If you are experiencing a mental health emergency and need immediate help please call 911
For more information on other mental health resources, visit the National Institute of Mental Health website: NIMH
